ACruelJoke

We're all mad here

19 Watchers22 Deviations

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Deviation Spotlight

Free me by ACruelJoke, visual art

Free me

ACruelJoke

Watching 17

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Gender-Identity

Trangst Poem - FTM by Nightcrawler28, literature

Literature

Trangst Poem - FTM

The girl who never was and the boy who cannot be. A face unknown. Hollow, Lacking, Vacant. It stares. Bones grow out of place, Bulging, twisting, breaking up straight lines. Blood follows, a screaming pain that cannot be subdued. It drips, smears, stains. Tainted. Confusion sets in. Mass hysteria? Cells divide and concur, an uncontrollable growth. The heart longs to love, but is trapped within a cage of bones and mounds of flesh. An unfamiliar home. The mirror reflects lies, which cannot be proven incorrect. Untrained eyes, cannot view the falsehood, of this perceived womanhood. I've grown tired of lying. And I've gro

Oblivion by CallMeHe, literature

Gender Dysphoria by MisterBubblicious, journal

Gender Dysphoria

Jun 22, 2014

"Gender Dysphoria is what I have, and someone in a show I saw explained it fairly well: It’s like being trapped in a burning house that you can’t get out of every single day. I get anxiety whenever I get a ma’am from a stranger, I feel a sinking feeling in my gut every time someone I know accidentally uses a female pronoun, I feel panic rise when I am faced between a men’s and women’s restroom Some people are really fucking dumb and assume that being transgender somehow reflects on a lack of confidence in one’s own biological sex and how they are raised/treated in society but that isn’t the case at

Dysphoria, my old friend. by PlasticTaste, journal

Dysphoria, my old friend.

Mar 24, 2014

The young child walked into the bathroom and shut the door gently behind him. The part of the day he dreaded- showering. He turned on the faucet and let it run before he turned back to the mirror. He stared into it, smiling at his current appearance. His hair was messy, just like he liked it. He wore a black and white flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Several bracelets covered his wrists. His jeans were a big baggy towards the ankles. He turned his head side to side, looking at the side of his face. He slowly pulled off his glasses, sighing because the worst part about this came. He unbuttoned the flannel shirt to reveal a black

She and He by hopelessheart330, literature

Literature

She and He

She hides in the clothes she's supposed to wear. Skirts and shorts with girly sandals and flowing tank tops. She feels so wrong, like she's committing a crime. Yet no one seems to notice. He hides behind her. Never to be seen. He wouldn't fit in. Cargos and flannels with Converse shoes just wouldn't work out. He has to stay back, out of sight. She smiles and laughs, but on the inside she is dead. She doesn't want to exist anymore. He cries and pleads to be free, in the light. He wants to exist. She thinks she's hideously fat. She is constantly on the scale, trying to please the people around her. He doesn't care how he looks. If he could

Dysphoria by hopelessheart330, literature

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Bewbs by ACruelJoke, literature

His genes and his jeans by ACruelJoke, literature

Literature

His genes and his jeans

--- written by my s/o So many problems people recognize, When chromosomes are messed up. From minor cosmetics to major defects, Science, and people, accept. Yet one that I love with all my heart, Has a chromosome problem too. He's missing one, you must understand, It's replaced with one that is wrong. Y - we don't understand, Y he does not have. It's been X'd out. Y does no one seem to understand, We would X out the error if we could. It's as if the world can see those strands, And judge him as they want. There is only one X we would like to see, Y can't people Xcept? Look in his eYes, You will see. We want XY deep in his

Insomnia revisited by ACruelJoke, literature

Literature

Insomnia revisited

For most of my life, to drift off to sleep, I build little fantasies in my mind. In them I'm a man, the man that is me, Instead of the woman most know. The thought was a comfort, easing me to rest. But at times it goes away. I lay there and try, forever, it seems, But am failing more and more. The fantasy me ends up with breasts, And rips me out of bed. I live the horror in real life, Why must I dream of it too? So I get up, bleary-eyed, desperate for sleep, And stare into space for a time. Then stagger back to bed, and try again, Until my body closes my eyes. Dreams haunt my sleep, and nightmares claw in, And gut my soul all

Grey by ACruelJoke, literature

Literature

Grey

What color is the dawn? I see only shades of grey. Why is that song so popular? I hear only faded noise. What makes that movie so great? I see moving pictures to waste time. Time wasted in a body not mine. The world - shades of grey, no color in my life. Music is something that others enjoy. I cannot enjoy anything, not really. This flesh I am in leeches life from my senses I'm sorry, it seems like I don't care. I do, truly. I just am trapped. Trapped in this "womanly flesh." It's not mine. It's HER'S. The woman the world sees. Not Mine. Not male.

Temptation by ACruelJoke, literature

Toss it aside by ACruelJoke, literature

Literature

Toss it aside

I want to be buried in an unmarked grave, Or cremated and tossed aside. I've lived this life as the woman I'm not, I don't want to be buried the same. When I pass, I will be free, To be the man I am. Let me leave no ties to the woman most knew, Just memories by those that loved me. The body I had, was not who I was, So let it be forgotten by all. The name that I had, I hated so much, Let it be stricken away. Don't let my corpse burdon anyone, I have never truly been here anyway So forget the shell I leave behind And let me be free to be me.

About ACruelJoke

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Artist

United States
Deviant for 13 years
He / Him

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My Bio

This is an account for materials that I don't want on my main account.

Posts

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ACruelJoke

Dec 14, 2010

About how I reply to comments and favorites

0 min read

This is not really a journal entry rather a handy place to put the following: 1) I am not on that terribly much and can be a bit slow to reply to comments.  I do my best to do so but, if I forget and/or am slow, please forgive me.  I also am not good at thanking for any favorites I receive. So, please, accept this thanks for any favorites I receive. 2) Regarding thanking me for favoriting your work or watching you, that is nice but unnecessary.  Please go out and make more art rather than spending the time to thank me.

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Profile Comments 27

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skittl

Sep 18, 2017

I always come back to your writing because it's so honest (though I haven't previously commented or favorited due to fear of being caught by family). The truth is often depressing and I like that you don't hold back in your art.